IS IT FATE?

COULD IT BE FATE FROM THE gods?

Working and living in a village that believed in small gods was not pleasant as young girls and boys believe in fate. It was a privilege to know Christ, and the truth in scripture at a very young age: Jeremiah 29:11 was my favorite.

One morning in Feb. 2009,  I woke up in my house in Luwero Uganda.  I had a heavy desire to encourage someone, I asked The Lord  to lead me to the right person. In the quietness of day, following a narrow muddy path behind my house to a direction I had never been before. The wind blew and the leaves of the tree fell to the ground reminding me of the beauty of creation. My feet, made careful steps and steeped on the fallen leaves making sound that kept my ears attentive and heart expectant. The birds in the nests made melody, my face beamed with a radiant smile as the beautiful African sunrise touched my skin. At every stride,I became more curious of how pleased God must be with all sound of creation. I wondered what he had for me for the day. With the little I knew, I thought to myself, God is humorous and best at surprises. I knew that my day was up for something. You don't ask God to lead you and you expect nothing. Joy unspeakable flowed from the depths of my soul and consumed my face. I jumped and made longer strides with my little feet all I  longed for was to share my  smile and brighten someone's day. Someone new that I have never met before.

Making way through the bush, I enjoyed nature that seemed not to have come into contact with the destructiveness of man. But could fate have described  Nakubulya’s desperate situation? I wondered to myself as I came closer to an old distant quiet little mad hut. I walked through a narrow road, the dew from the grass made my feet wet and the mad was like a soft sponge that got my feet soaked. The sound of my feet as they struggled to get in and out of the mud was not different from that of a great drummer bitting to a song they loved. When the joy of The Lord comes, it sweeps over the concerns of how you look like and all you want is to share what you ave with someone hurting.

As I walked I turned my head and saw a baby laying all by himself in the grass. I went close to make sure my eyes had seen right. To my amazement! I saw a girl 12 years old seated on a wooden wheel chair sobbing. I walked to her and sat down by her side as I tried to touched her, she screamed in hesitation ‘Ndeka’ meaning leave me. I removed my hand very quickly at a loss of words... I gathered courage and asked if she wanted to talk about whatever was bothering her.

Quickly, I head a swift sound trough the grass... on lifting my head, I saw a man coming from a mud hut that was close to the bush we were; he spoke disconnected statements that made no sense at all. I then whispered to this young girl to find out who this guy was and she said, "he is my dad." I was scared and confused, I told him i mean no harm but that everything was ok. The daughter said she is fine and then he left.

I sat by her side and asked her what was wrong, to which she replied, " my name is Nakubulwa." She continued to narrate her story,  She was born in a family of 6 children. Her mother died to HIV AIDS when she was 5 years old and they remained with their father. Her three elder siblings also died and she remained with two younger siblings. A few months back, the dad was so sick to bring any meals home. He also suffered from HIV AIDS which now affected his brain. Nakubulwa was so crippled that her other sister Namisango had to help her to the bathroom and to this place where I found her with her baby. Namisango, always did this as a routine before she left for school. Because she was the only lucky one who got support from her community. She had to get up early and prepare food for the rest of the family members, clean up the house and run to school. She was in primary four. She thought and acted like a mother. She cared and remembered to come back home early before it was too late to prepare dinner for her family and get Nakubulya back home from the bush before dark. She was the hope that the family was left with.

One dark and sad evening she waited for her sister to come back from school, the rain fell; she struggled under the heavy and hard drops of the hailstorm to get to the Dripping mud house. Her dress was torn; she always hid the holes by sitting carefully on the torn parts. With little strength, suddenly she heard something so strong turn her over only to realize it was one of those men, no girl should ever meet. He robbed her of her virginity and left her crying in pain under the rain; feeling dirty, with rejection, hatred, bitterness, unforgiveness, revenge, complaints, questions, confusion and no reason to see tomorrow.

Namisango was in school and had asked for permission to come home but she was not allowed because it was during the beginning of term examinations. She finished her paper and ran home to help her sister to the house only to find her lying in the rain hoping that Its drops would clean her from inside out. hoping that it was a terrible dream. Namisango was dripping and shivering as she struggled with her sister to the house Nakubulwa was so hesitant. She wanted to be left alone and needed no more help.

That night was so dark there was no moon or stars, was God sad  too? Oh yes he was. The candle had run out of paraffin. She gathered under her mom's dress wishing she lived. For three days since the ordeal there was no sleep but nightmares with lots of  disturbing noises ;- Cats meowing, rats running from one corner to another searching for anything in their reach to eat, mosquitoes were biting, cows mooing, and people with deep scary voices whispered. She wished for sound of birds that made her ears rest. But only nightmares that made her scream and woke up everyone else in the house. ‘Is this the end of my life?’ she kept on asking herself. As she told her story, her face had marks that ran the tears from her soul, seeming like water channels dug by a heavy flood. As i looked at the baby besides her i thought, could  he be a result of that night i hesitated to ask. Is this fate?  Why do all bad things happen to me? she asked. Maybe this  was how her life was destined to be.

No one touches her but her sister. Oops did I cross some boundary lines? I asked myself as I sat and wrapped my arms around her shoulders. My face covered in piles of sorrow. My eyes so heavy and moist tired from tears. I couldn’t help but weep with her. I felt like someone was drilling a hole in my heart and I needed to stop the pain. I told her that was enough. I could not hear any more. Justice justice justice screamed in every bit of my being. Where do you run? who will listen? What has corruption done to my mother country? I groaned.

But then I remembered that I have a  God I had asked to lead me this morning. He had led my foot steps. But this was too much for my little heart to handle I told myself.  Please give me grace. i can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I hesitantly started to speak. Trying to make sense of my lips as they couldn't put even one word together. I wanted to share about my friend Jesus Christ and how he loves us, that is all I could give. Silver, gold and the law, I didn't have but I had Jesus. I was told about him at my compassion international project at the church. That's all I could give. i sung for her a song I had learned on my neighbors' television as I peeped through their widow on one of my favorite shows done by the Gaither vocals. These were some of the lyrics
He came down to my level
When I couldn't get up to His
With a strong arm He lifted me up
To show me what livin' is

He'll come down to your level
If you'll open up the door
He wants to make your life worth livin'
That's what He came down for

This was a song I sung to her as she looked intently at the movements of my lips at the pronunciation of every word. I then saw trucks of her tears dry up and a smile on her face. ‘Wow! this is amazing she smiled’. I thought to my self. I then asked God to guide me on how I should help. I held her baby, she then asked me to draw close with the baby and we sang a song together. She said I should always come back and spend time with her and her baby. God has plans for anyone, everyone, and all of us- no matter your background. We don’t belong to the mistakes life may seem to bring our way or the evil that may encompass us. Jeremiah 29:11 God still has a plan, the original plan when He created you. A friend of mine came and took care of her.

Please enjoy the blessings around you, name them one by one. Don't dwell on what you don't have. If she can smile oh yes you can!