THE LITTLE GIRL IN LOLO

Gratitude to all that showed grace

When you go hunting it’s very important to know the kind of animal you are hunting for or else you will come back with nothing. Lolo needed to know where the real problem was in order to deal with it completely.

Every little girl is her dad’s princess. She gets the little goodies and big hugs from her daddy kisses on her face as she giggles away. Flung into the air and loved on making the world the best place to be. Every child and every little girl loves that.

Lolo is born to a family of 8 she is a middle child of seven and one adopted boy. She knows her dad loves her, it’s just that she has never seen him actually smile and play. Every time she run to him to ask for milk or a dress her dad said, “I don’t have the money”

Lolo’s family woke up every morning to pray and went to bed praying thanking God for the food that miraculously showed up and believing God for the next day’s meals. Her family always fasted one day a week because without God they would starve and fall sick. They depended on God for literally everything.

The eight children believed that God provided for all their needs and got used to the answer of No and “I don’t have the money” which was true from a loving father that took care of his children to the best of his ability. Her father had a worse background, her grandmother was into witchcraft to the extent that her dad had to move to another relatives home to live.

It was then ingrained in her that you cannot ask for help for anything because the answer is obviously no or cannot afford it. As a little girl she learned that life cannot give her things she needed. This lie grew within lolo even to her older age and she dreaded asking for help since the answer was obvious. Whenever she needed to deal with details, she assumed people’s faces saying I cannot, I cannot afford it. Hopelessness in need screamed at her.

“How long will this go for?” It was exhausting then she learned to overcome her greatest fear. God graciously taught her that it’s ok to let people know your need and ask them to help because when you don’t, its pride and no one can exist on the earth without other people. God brought into her life that showed grace and patience although they found this quite wired, they could never figure out why lolo didn’t quickly ask for help. She always said, hate of detail is more the fear of re leaving her dad’s expressions and inability to help. When someone is your hero its had to look into their faces and see hopelessness.

People will not always say yes and that is ok, it’s a training Lolo has to go through. 

THE LITTLE GIRL IN LOLO

Grateful for all that been Christ and opened lolo's eyes to asking for help.

When you go hunting it’s very important to know the kind of animal you are hunting for or else you will come back with nothing. Lolo needed to know where the real problem was in order to deal with it completely.

Every little girl is her dad’s princess. She gets the little goodies and big hugs from her daddy kisses on her face as she giggles away. Flung into the air and loved on making the world the best place to be. Every child and every little girl loves that.

Lolo is born to a family of 8 she is a middle child of seven and one adopted boy. She knows her dad loves her, it’s just that she has never seen him actually smile and play. Every time she run to him to ask for milk or a dress her dad said, “I don’t have the money”

Lolo’s family woke up every morning to pray and went to bed praying thanking God for the food that miraculously showed up and believing God for the next day’s meals. Her family always fasted one day a week because without God they would starve and fall sick. They depended on God for literally everything.

The eight children believed that God provided for all their needs and got used to the answer of No and “I don’t have the money” which was true from a loving father that took care of his children to the best of his ability. Her father had a worse background, her grandmother was into witchcraft to the extent that her dad had to move to another relatives home to live.

It was then ingrained in her that you cannot ask for help for anything because the answer is obviously no or cannot afford it. As a little girl she learned that life cannot give her things she needed. This lie grew within lolo even to her older age and she dreaded asking for help since the answer was obvious. Whenever she needed to deal with details, she assumed people’s faces saying I cannot, I cannot afford it. Hopelessness in need screamed at her.

“How long will this go for?” It was exhausting then she learned to overcome her greatest fear. God graciously taught her that it’s ok to let people know your need and ask them to help because when you don’t, its pride and no one can exist on the earth without other people. God brought into her life that showed grace and patience although they found this quite wired, they could never figure out why lolo didn’t quickly ask for help. She always said, hate of detail is more the fear of re leaving her dad’s expressions and inability to help. When someone is your hero its had to look into their faces and see hopelessness.

People will not always say yes and that is ok, it’s a training Lolo has to go through. 

DONT WASTE YOUR LAUGH.

Don't 'laugh' because all that have laughed have been shocked and their laugh shortened.
For those that have the hand of God on their life and follow Christ, may seem crazy,  confused and an amusement to many. But keep watch or else you will eat your own scorn


No matter how much you achieve or accomplish there will always be people laughing at you and thinking you are too weak and incapable. It's fine to let them go. Surround yourself with truth from God's word and  people that point out your strengths and are willing to give their time, resources and strength to compliment you in obeying Christ.

Every time you are on the top of a mountain their is a mockery laugh right at your back careful that you don't loose focus. Ignore the laugh and lie no matter how loud it is. God believes in you and there are other people who believe in what God has for you, so don't let a few people that think you cannot make it, control your destiny. When you see such signs It's time to make a jump of faith. Not to prove that you can but it's always good to keep moving!

MINISTRY IS OUT THERE.

Why do we think like this? Well i have come to realize that 'there' is not as for sure as here is.
How many many opportunities have we missed to look into the eyes of a child, youth, mother and see their pain and say. Jesus knows your pain or even ask how can i pray for you? Stop just for 30 seconds it will count for eternity. its worth it. you will know when you get back to heaven some day. Real ministry is right in front of you now. Just stop and take time to look at it. its here and now not over there. "God Samaritan story"

We live day to day lives aware that God has a plan for our lives like Jeremiah 29:11 says.
We spend sleepless nights planning, making calls and having meetings for our next steps in life.
Yet we forget to enjoy the people, places and opportunities right in front of us.
'Enjoy' does not mean to look at today in view of tomorrow in this instance,  by enjoy ministry today I mean taking the people we meet today as divine appointments from God. No body we meet is a mistake it was pre- determined by God even before we were born. He says i planned out every day of your life and so we need to live every moment to its fullest unto God. when we enjoy these opportunities, we bring God absolute glory.

As i tour North America and are at a different church , a different host home and bed every Friday. I have learned to serve and love like there is no tomorrow. This may be the only opportunity i have with a child, youth, woman or worship experience and if i don't do it to my best unto the Lord there is no grantee for tomorrow. Even if i lived, i may never see the people i meet today so serving God and taking every person as a divine appointment is the best way to go.

Like papa Wess Starford says in his book "just a minute" we can change the life of a child in happy heart city  or base camp, youth and during the services in just a minute. we never loose time with people if we still have one minute left. Even now we have a minute to change destiny. As long as you have a minute you have eternity in your hands.

So l have decided, i will give it my all today and tomorrow belongs to God.
Ministry is here and not out there today. I live today to the fullest unto God.

Is this verse in the bible?

Is this in the bible?

John 5:39-40
39 You search the Scriptures because you think that in them you have eternal life; and it is they that bear witness about me, 40 yet you refuse to come to me ...

So many people are so sick spiritually and it's manifested physically.
But it's easy for us to believe the psychologist when they say your emotional state affects your physical yet we run away from the reality of how sick our spiritual life is and how that is affecting us day after day from choices to even health, name it... We have chosen ways that are so far away from God and believed that as better.

The state of sickness in people's spiritual lives cannot be replaced by anything. But God.
John 5:39-40
39 You search the Scriptures because you think that in them you have eternal life; and it is they that bear witness about me, 40 yet you refuse to come to me that you may have life.

Their spirit man yarns for God. We talk of decades and years back when God moved mightily as though He is dead today. God is Alive.

Have you dared to call him in a desperate way. Or have we replaced Him with something else? To an extent that we don't know who He really is yet we claim we do. We have rejected His power and replaced His power with desire for knowledge and man has become his own god. No one lives without being under some kind of influence. What influences your life is it God and His power? or...

This time is not independent of times past when they had the Torah and God Spoke in an audible voice yet man went his own way. God din't come to abolish the Old Testament, He came to fulfill it. If we read the Bible page to page we shall see the consistence.

1 Samuel 3 The boy Samuel ministered before the Lord under Eli. In those days the word of the Lord was rare; there were not many visions.
But there is Hope. It is just a call away, a prayer away, a surrender away

Why is intimacy and intercession in church today dead?

The hurry to fix things is death to intercession and intimacy with God.

The power of intercession lies in trust worthiness- the ability to see or know the depths from God's perspective and keeping it the secret. Until He desires to lay it in the open. At times he may never. At times it's just a call to pray not to act.

Intercession has become hard lately because many prayer worriers take pride in knowing the secret things and wanting to share with people or even disqualify those God is calling them to pray for. The hurry to fix things is death to intercession and intimacy with God.

When God cannot trust you with the deep things that are seen only when we get intimate with Him, then you cannot be in His office - He sits at the right hand of the father interceding for us day and night. He hires intercessors. We claim the office as a title but He qualifies. The greatest quality is your ability to see man through His eyes no mater what He shows you.

To love those around you even when he opens their lives before you. You don't have to tell them, it's a call to prayer not to fix things. But also to be ready just incase he says now is the time to fix it then you open your mouth

WHERE IS THE CHURCH?

What are we doing? Have we got so busy in creating boundaries in teaching and doctrine and forgotten to live? What happened to us? Where did we fall? Is it possible that we can return to the place we fell and rise up again?  Have we become so knowledgable that we choose to ignore the power of the triune God and His ability to give life to the his word. What are we doing trying to help Him. What if we just obeyed? What if we just followed? I know we want to make sure it is safe and we shall not be hurt. We want to make sure that this journey will have a happy ending and be a happy one. But is that what the gospel is all about? Did He not promise hardship, sacrifice, pain and yet joy that passes understanding? Why are hearts not changing? I don't men those outside the church? I am concerned about us as a body the rest will come if we live for who we TRUELY are.  Should the gospel massage not have the power to change me and you? Should the gospel massage not have life? Why are we neither hot or cold? How will the world know that we are true followers if we don't love each other and those less privileged? How will the world see a difference if we don't live different? Why do we love to fit in? We are not called to merely fit in but to be representatives of the most high.

What happened to our identity? Who blurred the church? What identifies you? Is it your job, marriage, children or academics? Why not God? What do you describe as true success? What do you want to be remembered for when you die? And finally before the throne of God what will you say you lived for? Someone has to ask these questions and I will.

Millions of people are living daily in slavery and poverty today and are wondering where God is or if he hears them. Gary Haugen  (CEO IJM) asks the question of where are the people of God not where is God. I have the same question.  What happened to right and wrong? Why is there no moral clarity today? 

Scott C Todd ( founder of Isaiah 58) says that the end of extreme poverty is possible when the church rises up and begins to be the church. But what are we doing? Opening one organization after another and evading running away from abiding in God so he can change us. What if the church lived? What if the church could rise up in this generation? What if there was true brokenness and less self protection. What of we totally obeyed? 

So what are we doing, where is Love for the things that break God's heart? Are we just going to play church and go through the motions and sing the songs of "break my heart for what breaks yours" but close our hearts to pain and protect ourselves? What are we doing? Who are we?

We have to wake up and ask these questions.

I have seen hard things in this world at my young age told people some of these things but their hearts are so numb to compassion and moral clarity. Everyone protecting their own and few ready to be broken by God. I know it is scary, I get scared to sometimes when I have to follow God. But how long is the body of Christ going to behave like grasshoppers. When shall we see ourselves for the great army that we are? We have to make sacrifices, great sacrifices at that. It may mean to abandon your comfort, your luxury. "You begin to live  and bear fruit when you die." Dr. Thrasher ( prof at Moody Theological seminary for 32 years).

We have to start somewhere church. What shall we say about all this before the throne room? That I    was scared of criticism? Or that I couldn't speak or write? Or shall we say that we were so busy      taking care of family and loving those close to us " Family should be a mission force and not an idol." Dr.Thrasher. Are we making our hearts to small to accommodate only those we see each day at our dinning tables and forgetting those crying out to God? Mark 3:31-35 Then Jesus' mother and brothers came. They stood outside and sent a person in   

to tell Jesus to come out. Many people were sitting around Jesus. They said to him, "Your mother and brothers are waiting for you outside." Jesus asked, "Who is my mother? Who are my brothers?" Then Jesus looked at those people sitting around him. He said, "These people are my mother and my 

brothers! My true brother and sister and mother are those people that do the things God wants." 

Church, it's our time. Are we so blind that we cannot see and too deaf to hear the call? Look at the numbers that gathered in 2013 passion conference, look at the numbers with IJM, Compassion International and Isaiah 58 to mention but a few. All these cried out to us as a body of Christ. The question is where is the church and the solution is the church.

We have to start some where. The hope is that there are remnants. Those that have not defiled their eyes or ears. Those that God has kept for Himself since birth. Those he talks about in Rom 8, Jeremiah 1:5, Deut. 14:2 and Jeremiah 29:11, John 15:16, God has never left creation with no witness and he is not about to. 

So arise or you army of The Lord and die so you can live for the purpose to which you have been called. Begin to shine for The Lord has heard the cry of those in need and slavery and he is waiting for you to go. He is waiting for you, don't think that you are waiting for Him. You are busy trying to let go and dye. Make up your mind and get to work for the mater is waiting. 

Yes church you can do it, you just need to believe, trust His heart and let go of what you are holding on to. It all comes down to trust and belief. Hebrews 11. 

For slavery and poverty to end in this generation. It has to all start in the church returning to God in total surrender. Many have spoken and showed videos and documentaries but the church is in deep sleep. Someone has to shake the boat and wake us up that our bones will burn like Jeremiah's. that we shall stop living for less and criticism and begin to live. 

I think  

I thought snow came from the ground not the sky...

I prayed for you today

I wept and still my spirit groans within me. Oh how I wish you saw and felt the depth of my intercession for you.

Your sins are washed as white as snow. In 2010 I saw my first snow. In Uganda While I was reading my bible, I read about snow in relation to cleansing. I prayed and dreamt that one day I will see how white snow is that the bible would choose to use it in comparison to how we look like when we are 
washed by the blood of Jesus. As I left my class in Moody Seminary in Chicago during my first winter experience in 2010, I touched my first snow. It was not a lot on the ground so I slowly 
motioned my hand onto someone's car and touched my first snow. You should have seen my eyes. I 
already have big eyes but they were even bigger. I thought snow came from the ground as it froze in cold but it came down like rain.

My heart swelled within me, my countenance light up I was filled with joy and looked my friend in the eyes and said, " this is what the bible means when it says our sins are washed as 
white as snow."
It was a dream come true. I love Jesus He answers our childlike prayers too !

A few days later it was dirty again. Isn't that just like you and I. We fall again and again but we are washed again and again. Just as the snow season is constant so is the blood. Oh America 
be washed heavily this season. May you realize that the blood covers multitudes of your wrong.
Just as snow covers the ground remember his blood covers your sin, it's finished. Snow may melt away but Jesus' blood was poured once and for all. Snow may get dirty again just like our lives. But it snows again. The season is consistent and so is God's faithfulness to us. His character is not 
determined by what we do but by who He is. I wish you and I would realize God's love through His 
eyes and not through our eyes.

I wept for you, that you will use this snowed in time to stop and get together as a family and pray. That this time will be a time of reconciliation as a family. A time were relationships are restored and wounds are healed. As many cannot leave home, may you have conversations started. I pray that you will find the boldness to talk about your fears and struggles and let others come along side you. 

I prayed for a healthy family time. It all starts in the home. Not in the church or school or government. When you fail in the family you fail in the public arenas too. Oh my heart weeps within me for us as a nation and world.

Oh I pray that alters of prayer will be started in every home. I pray that men will return to their creator. I pray that this time will be a time when men, families and the nation will hunger more for God. Huddle in prayer circles behind closed door.

I cried out to God on your behalf that you will not be bored in prayer or get busy on your phone but that you and I will will find this time when office is closed to pray. My heart weeps and groans for you that you will hear God calling you and stopping you to pray as a region and a nation. Oh God cause us to pray give us a motivation and a delight to talk to you. May we enjoy you more than we enjoy things that have replaced intimacy.

WHAT JESUS CHRIST WOULD LIKE FOR CHRISTMAS.

He would like to be Lord of your life. Not just your savior but also your Lord. 

Lets not go ahead of our selves. Lets back track a little. Consider Mary the mother of Jesus in Luke 1. Or let's say Hannah in 1 Samuel 1

These ladies were despised, rejected, ridiculed, Hannah's womb was closed by God himself. Mary was told by an angle that she will have child in a culture that cast out any girl unmarried yet with child.

Have you felt ridiculed, ashamed, despised. Miss understood, hated, an outcast and rejected?

Mary and Hannah felt just like you and so do I many times.

Authors you would agree with me that the chunk of space given to a topic determines the level of its significance right?

In the book of Samuel and the book of Luke, only one chapter is allotted to the misery and sorrow these ladies felt in comparison to the space and chapters / celebration given to the story that unfolds later. Did you know that God is for you? There is a bigger picture here?

The question is why? What made the difference for these ladies?
This is the answer. Hannah chose to believe God and Mary chose to say, "Be it unto me according to your word." Your attitude when something goes determines who is Lord.

See what happens centuries later. You and I are celebrating Jesus' birth. What celebrations are you holding back because you don't want Jesus to be Lord? Could that be the reason for pain and suffering today? We have accepted Jesus as Savior only and refused him as Lord? I am speaking to me 

The world needs to address the poverty question differently

The world needs to address the poverty question differently

NEW YORK TIMES Very sadly publicly displayed the African corruption, ... and the problem in African leadership in general. We have trained and capable people but this is what happens on day today living... Go change your country is a question we need to consider deeply as it is not just a mater of go, it's how do we help our leaders in Africa that is where it should start. It's the reason for poverty, injustice, ignorance and name it. It's not an easy walk into change that's if we are talking about Real Change. It cannot be done by an individual, it has to a collective effort. Many of the developed world wants change for under developed world but for real change to occur and for your seeds you plant in the children to sprout you need to clear the weeds in the garden or else the seed will choke as it finds it's way up, or plant strong trees that withstand thorns and bushes...

“I have fought against white domination and I have fought against black domination,” he said at his 1964 trial. “I’ve cherished the ideal of a democratic and free society in which all persons live together in harmony and with equal opportunities. It is an ideal which I hope to live for and to achieve. But if needs be, it is an ideal for which I am prepared to die.” Mandela.

Today we suffer under black domination, being dominated by our very own. We seek a society with equal opportunity for all persons.

It is the imbalance in the question you have always asked.
Today as I travel around North America, the states I have not been to I can count on my fingers. The big question is why do Africans come here, study and find it hard to go back. It is like exile running away from the reality of dying with your dreams and potentials. This is the one of the many answers. The well educated want to put their skills into practice in a society of fairness and equal opportunity something Mandela fought for all his life.

If organisations that want to see a better Africa begin to focus on the real problem then we shall be talking lasting change but for now, we are fighting poverty cutting it's branches and not the root...
My personal opinion and conviction.
I know we need a solution not a problem trust me been boiling in my inside giving me sleepless nights for the past two years... The world needs to address the poverty question differently
The gap between the child helped with nutrition and developing their potential then giving them a platform. There is need of leadership development not just education but fighting to clear the bushes to the platform it's not a one man work... Especially with the gift of media.

Gary of the International Justice Mission real close to the problem by writing this

http://www.thelocusteffect.com/join-the-launch-team
Gary is putting his nose to the ground and getting his hands dirty together with his team and I commend him for REAL change. Lets support him. This is my passion right here real change...
Well compassion International gave me a voice to speak up it's developing it.

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/12/13/world/africa/mandela-memorial-interpreter.html?smid=fb-nytimes&WT.z_sma=WO_IAM_20131212&bicmp=AD&bicmlukp=WT.mc_id&bicmst=1385874000000&bicmet=1388638800000&fblinkge0&_r=0

MINISTRY!

Thank you all for praying for me this year. God has been so gracious and faithful as to provide for me a family as I travel around North America this year. We are 19 Team members and 28 people total on our

team including the family of the revivalist and our team director. I know that I am exactly where God wants me to be this season of my life. God has been healing me from so much that I know would have been a big hindrance to what He would do in future through me. Life action is about transformation and authentic Christianity in community.  I literally see that I am different. My blurred vision has been cleared and I am able to love people more and now lead others on the path that

I have walked.

What I do on the team is sing in the four day thirst conferences and 8 day prayers summits. We have been to

five churches in five weeks so far and we are hardly two months into this journey. We have until May of 2014. In each church it has been awesome to see where they are at with God and come along side them to walk at their pace. It has been a learning process for me after Moody Theological seminary to actually put my theory into practice. It has been very humbling and I love it.

I also do announcements and closing prayer during the ladies luncheons every Tuesday, and I am so honored to work alongside women I look up to. I help out with girls on the team since most of them are between the ages of 17-27 years. 

I need prayers for good health because of a lot of travelling: we are at a different church and host home every Friday!  I am learning to let go of my “bed” comfort and the familiar and move at God’s pace, He has downsized me to just a carry on and a back pack each week. You cannot be a missionary and carry your suitcases of your favorite things around. Pray that I will give my best to each church and run a good race fixing my eyes on Christ alone. Thank you so much for those that contributed.

JUST FOLLOW!

I remember our first chapel in Compassion International head Offices in Colorado Springs (GMC). God is amazing! Deep in my spirit I knew what I was saying to be true but practically speaking, I didn't know what that looked like. I said, keep your eyes and ears open for we will lead this world back to God.  I still believe this today as i am being amazed at the doors God is opening. No one not even me can stand in the way of God.  I have always revered God, its better to obey Him now than to go through a humbling situation only to bring you back where you should have been in the first place. Lets stop trying to control God and those surrendered to Him.

 I am with Life Action ministries, leading churches in worship across America. what i had planned to do in Uganda at exactly the same time. Calling us to bow down before our maker, faces hitting the ground in total surrender to God. God changed all my plans and am just following him. Michael W Smith told me as we talked one evening in his bus after dinner. He looked at a flag and said, " you are like a flag blowed by the wind to a specific direction. Even though you try to go a different direction you cannot because God will push you from the back like a wind and also be in the front leading your each step."  He continued to say that whatever God meant for you will be fulfilled because you are different from so many i have met. I will never forget those words they are hidden in the most secret place of my heart.
Papa Wess Stafford said, "just love God. He will direct your path. He gave me His favorite verses Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding and then He will direct your path. Why do we always want direction before we trust God and love Him? Direction comes last. He continued to say, I know you love God Lois but I don't know why He is asking you to love Him, just obey"
How I had plans to be in Uganda this summer but see where I am. How I got here only God could have done this not me.

THE BATTLE FRONT

THE BATTLE FRONT

What God is up to is always more than us but it always begins with us.  I woke up 5:00 am this morning with a burden to cry out to God. I don’t know how the day would have unfolded if I didn't yield to the promptings of the spirit. God knows what lies ahead, He knows the devil’s schemes and he always wants us ready for battle. I cried out sobbing in ways that words cannot express, I had no idea why. One of my sisters at the camp prayed with me both of us sobbing in the Spirit. As we prayed that God would intercede within us, we couldn't stop sobbing. Praying to be like Christ in His suffering, like Paul in jail but yet singing praise to Him, like Enoch walking with Him and being no more. I had no idea what I was praying for.

Not knowing what the day had in store for us, we heading to the front lines. Battle after battle as though the enemy was waiting for a spark for war then I was struck with sickness, I felt as though I had been sick for days. I could not walk from the Lodge where we had lunch to my room.  Someone was kind enough and gave me a ride to my cabin.  When I tried to get up and head down for practice I couldn't stand but had to walk and ask for a time of rest. I felt my life drifting and nowhere and no one to hold on to but God. I continued to cry out to God even in my weakest point. Feeling a little strong, I staggered to rise up again and looking at my phone I found a text that was a sign that the battle was still on. I continued to pray and chose to.  Then I got a text from my best friend and roommate Karen, telling me that she was praying for me.

Being in the battle front is not easy. James 1:2 ^“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,^[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds, ³ because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. ⁴ Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”

If you remember please intercede for us as we intercede on your behalf.

God’s Course Change in My Life

I have written pages and pages about how my next step has unfolded.

In March of 2012 I remember being so certain that by this time next year I will be leading my country in authentic worship. My heart was so consumed in leading my entire country in facedown worship. I got so many friends of mine praying and was in contact with many pastors and radio stations in Uganda. While I was live, with Janet Parshall on Moody radio in her program in the market, she asked what I will be doing after graduating. My answer was that I will be leading my country in worship starting August 2013.

God had a different plan for me. I knew the calling and timing but had the wrong location. In Urbana Mission Conference, God told me that I am going to send you to a different culture and called me to accept possibly being uncomfortable. He said, those people will speak a ‘different Language’ I thought he was calling me to the Middle East or to Iraq or something of that sort. I never knew that he was calling me 3 hours away from Chicago.

I had my heart and soul set on Uganda but the way God changed everything around, was something only He could do. He said I will give up nations and peoples for your sake. He messes up systems and changes things just on time for His will. One thing I know for sure no one or nothing can stand in God’s way not even me. He changed my ‘big’ plans. I decided that obeying God is better than anything else. Obedience is always better than sacrifice. Following God is the wisest and safest thing anyone can ever do.

While in class, a Moody Radio staff member asked us to go pray on the One Cry event for the American National day of prayer. I went and got to know Ryan Loveing, His lovely wife, and the Moody Radio Executive vice. After praying, they asked me what next, I said I wasn’t sure yet. They were very kind and invited me to tour Life Action Head quarters where I clearly heard God say this is where I want you to be. It was a still small voice but I knew it was His voice. I became so restless until I said ok Lord, let’s go. Here I am now in Life Action. On the 6^th day at Camp, God told me, “Remember I told you to lead my people this summer?” I was shocked to realize that I had the wrong location. I was so glad to be in God’s will.

Now that I am with Life Action all I can think is “I don’t want to wait, I don’t want to rest I want to keep going.” God once again has different plans for me. At this moment in time He is calling me to wait on Him. A question we were asked today at Seek week with Life Action Ministries is “What if the revival he is calling this country and world to is dependent on your obedience?”  All I could say is, “Yes Lord.”

Join me in prayer, this journey is very humbling, I am still fighting. I love being busy, I cannot be still. I don’t know how to receive, I know how to give. I started thinking about my siblings when I was 12 years old; I started to worry about my mom’s health. I don’t know how to let go of responsibility and wait on God. I need to totally surrender. This week, I am waiting on God to break me and completely take me over.

https://www.lifeaction.org/conferences/schedule/?team=white-team

WHEN GOD CALLS I FOLLOW!

I have not been able to find peace or satisfaction anywhere else in this world than at the feet of Jesus. I remember one day when I was brought back from school and my mom was dying. I remember reaching home and throwing my bags down and heading to the tree where mom lay. I always knew that mom worried about her seven children and what they would eat. Worry at times cause her sickness and would even cause her to go crazy at times. I went sat by mom and told her not to worry that God will take care of her. I reminded her of the lilies of the valley and how God cared even for the birds in the air. I asked if I could run and get my bible and read her a verse. As I run and looked frantically in my bags. I saw people running outside. I was scared. All kinds of thoughts run through my mind. Will I see mom again? Will I talk to her or get to read her my favorite bible verse? As scared as I was, I forgot that I had not eaten anything. Hunger was not a need it was a want that week. I didn't feel it at all. A neighbor brought his car to take mom to hospital but she was already so stiff to fit in the little car. Another neighbor had to bring their truck. They put my mom in the back of the truck and rushed her to hospital.

The villagers started to come for the vigil; everyone knew for sure that that was the end of my mom. The dogs backing and cats meowing at night my community believed that that was a sign of death. Fear griped us. My sister Peace and my younger siblings sat sobbing behind closed doors. My older two siblings left with mom and dad to the hospital with other family friend from church. How I thank God for my local church where, that is also where my compassion project was. There was too much sadness that I couldn't bear. I chose to go to mom’s bedroom and sing looking into the mirror. I told myself that if I believed God would answer my prayers. I refused to give my time to the devil and cry. I remembered a story taught at my church about the experience of the Israelite's in captivity and I also refused to sing the song of my Lord in the land of gloom.psalms 137:1-4 

I began to sing a song entitled;

I have the victory

The Lord has given unto me

I have the victory

Because of Jesus Christ

I have the victory

The Lord has given unto me

The Lord has given me the victory.

The battle is the lord’s

The victory is mine so lift up your banner of praise.

As I sung this song I felt strength come over me that shadowed the tears and the pain that was around me. Before I knew it was 1:00am when I heard a knock on the door. Someone had run from the hospital to tell us that mom had regained conscience and the people should go back to their homes there will not be a vigil. I knew that my God had come through again as He always has. I promised Him that I will forever tell this story of how he came through for us.

What are you struggling with? Is lack of faith or are you doubting that God can. Do you know that He is able to do exceedingly above what you think, ask or even imagine? Just believe. He is faithful. He never lies, His word is yes and Amen. I have learned to trust in him. It hasn’t been constant. Ephesians 3:20  Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us. …I Thessalonians 5: Pray without ceasing. In everything give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. Quench not the Spirit.

I pray that the end goal of us seeking God is not for his hand but his face and heart. We don’t seek God that he will only give us what we want but that we shall know him. The end goal of his provision is to know him. It is not the other way round. Let our hearts pant after God; let us not settle for what everyone else settles for. Let us strive to the goal at our places of work, at school, in ministry and every area of our lives. Our relationships, families and even on the streets, when we talk to people let then hear God in us. It is not easy but who said that we should give up?  Let our light shine on the streets for the voice of God cries out prepare the way for me make the cracked paths straight for the King of Glory to come in. Who is the King of glory? He is the Lord all mighty.  He is strong in battle and mighty to save, tell me a single day that he has not come through and I will tell you the day you never trusted even there he was there close to lift you up when you couldn't stand or make the next step. Teach my heart to obey, teach me to surrender, teach me to follow. I am sorry for leading you many times, please help me follow. Those that are his will NEVER be put to shame. Though a thousand may stand against then, He will put them to flight. Trust in the LORD and never give up. Those who trust in the Lord are like mount Zion which cannot be moved but abides.

Now He is called again, He has changed my plans and here we go again. I don’t know what he has in store for this tour but I will say yes and let go of my pursuits. I will follow.

REFUSING TO GO THROUGH THE MOTIONS.

I don’t find peace in going with the flow. I love different, I love trying the scary part of life. Accomplishing what others feel cannot be accomplished. Dreaming big, it’s only in those moments that I feel the energy in life. There are things necessary to life but are not in existence yet and others think of them as impossible and they provide every rational thought which helps with the details necessary to achieve the goal/dream. Rational is not reason to give up, I look at it as strategies needed to be taken to achieve a goal. Healthy critic helps us direct appropriate energy to what is not right and needs improvement for the good of oneself and the entire group. Not forgetting the strength that comes from gratitude and appreciation of the good.
You wake up one morning and there are ideas that keep you restless. Feeling as though gratitude is a rope not worth skipping but yet destiny calls so loud. Enjoying a gift; I believe is making use of it in the best way that you know how. It’s not merely saying thank you which is very necessary too but the practicality of maximizing the gift and being a good steward is the best way to express gratitude in my opinion.

Focusing on areas for improvement and dealing with challenges that may affect our celebration in the nearby future always comes as a result of true gratitude. Well some may say that silence in the moment of celebration is being ungrateful. Celebrating accomplishments and achievements is very necessary. However we should be careful not to blur the vision for tomorrow thinking that we have reached the finish line. There is always a lot to do; the world out there is still suffering injustice, poverty and separation from God. Each one of us needs to find our place in this world, none of us should exist to only achieve personal satisfaction on the expense of who you are meant to be. No man is an Island, you are made for a reason and placed where you are now to either accomplish that or prepare for the next opportunity. No one and nothing in life is a mistake. It is all part of the big picture that only God knows. Be faithful in the here and now and it will all make sense later. There is a longing within each of us to make a difference it’s up to you and I to fill that longing with the right thing. Each one of us is created with purpose find the niche; the world will be different if you did your part.

Each one of us should have an inner drive pushing us to a specific desire for better and greater in each season of our lives. for some a season can last for 3 years or 30 years or more but let us be ready to move when its time. Time is very necessary, knowing the time to move and when to stop. Some people are called of God and fashioned differently and that is OK. There is no reason to apologize for living that which God made you to be. Just make sure that you are grateful and appreciate difference in others. Be a learner, learn from those around you even those you don’t like, maybe the reason you are uncomfortable around them is because they bring out a part of you that you don’t want to change. We all want to be better people. We can make a difference and we can change the world, if we are learners and then find the niche. We read and know lots of people that have done this, we are no exceptions.

Where you were born is not determine who you will become. Our past is just the beginning of the story, the weaving of the tapestry not the whole cloth. Let not the knots and the piercings of the pine needle be the whole package. Look at the bigger picture. It is very hard to do that, I am writing to the choir as the saying goes. It’s been my life, these are lessons I have learned. God has a plan for you and me. Let the terrible past go, look at today; the blessings of the people around you that God has brought your way. Wise men that know the other side where you are going, sit at their feet listen don’t just hear but listen. Many people hear but very few listen. Don’t be stubborn in the rules of your past, yeah they were hard and painted with a lot of injustice; don’t get stuck in that pain, many times it blurs your tomorrow forcing you to constantly make the same mistakes as a way of survival. You think that it defines the world because that is all you know or have known all your life. Be open to learn the rules and principles/guidelines on the other side, different is good many times, tread on new waters and new skies, let go and fly. Something that David Dahlin my hero always says, “Lois at times you just have to let go and trust God.” He is a gift from Heaven, he is one of those untold hero’s a man of excellence but yet also humility. A man I have learned listening from. He will listen at any time. When talking to him, it feels like it’s just me in the world, yet he will give grace and wisdom at the same time. I think he can excel as a pastor, dad and executive. So gifted but yet doing it unto the Lord not seeking human approval. When I grow up, I want to be just like him.

God also blessed me lately with another wise coach. He gives me life and strength to be who God created me to be. When we love the different person that we are, we make different choices wise choices that others may fear to make. But I know that being vulnerable is key to success. I have discovered the resources available for me just by being graciously transparent and vulnerable. Knowing my past and testimony, it should be the hardest thing to do. But I refuse to be held back in the past and in the hard and choose to try out flying. I will say that my wings are gaining strength a step at a time but when they get strong enough. You will be surprised how high I can reach.
Next time, I will be counting my blessings and naming them one by one! I am so blessed. Thank you Jesus.

Lover of song lyrics

Songwriters: AHLSTROM, LEONARD / CRAIG, ANDREW SHAWN

I been walking through the desert
And I been talking to myself away too long
It gets lonely when you're the only one
Who hears you when you say you need someone

I'm ready for the rain to fall
I'm ready for your heart to call
My name so loud, it cracks the clouds
And your love comes pouring down
I'm ready for the rain

I prayed for mercy from the heartache
But I was thirsty for a river I couldn't find
Then I found you and you opened up the sky
And I knew you're the reason why

I'm ready for the rain to fall
I'm ready for your heart to call
My name so loud, it cracks the clouds
And your love comes pouring down
I'm ready for the rain

Dust and pain just washed away
The moment that you walked my way

I'm ready for the rain to fall
I'm ready for your heart to call
My name so loud, it cracks the clouds
And your love comes pouring down
I'm ready for the rain, I'm ready for the rain
Ready for the rain

THOUGHT DEAD.

From the time I started to breath, all I could think of was life. People defined it differently. Some called life, beauty, fame, dating, scheming, ministry, attending church, pleasing people and name it.

I always wanted to know what life was all about until one day my parents hosted a few friends. That evening, my amazing mom cooked a meal while they ate, my mom asked if we could sin to the visitors. The seven of us came out and lined up and sung a sad song unknowingly. All the visitors stopped eating and their heart were moved with pity for the hungry. One day, uncle John came back home and said when you all sung about children suffering, we could not continue to eat.

I kept singing in church and school until 2005 when a friend of mine asked if I could help her record an album. I said yes of course, I will. Day and night we worked on seven songs. A few months later we were ready to record. We went to one of the best studios in Uganda and recorded the album, I was able to record one of my favorite songs "well done good and faithful servant". Fortunately, her mom asked me to sign to get twenty percent from the profits. I was glad that finally I get to make some money and help my family. We recorded, i hardly was invited for the launch and tried to follow up on the contract i signed only to be pushed to the side every time. The poor many times are robbed and no one speaks out for them. I returned to leading worship and singing in school.


In 2006, i wrote some more songs and a friend of mine sold me some of his songs. I set out to record in Uganda, I have never worked with someone so negative. By the time I was done with that album, I was convicted that I have no future in this field. I decided to give my heart to working with the orphans and children that needed love four years. I loved them with all that I had. I kept singing in the church and to the children.

Every one that told me that I had a good voice, I thought them crazy. Some said, "oh, you are just being proud but you know you have a good voice." I wished that they saw my heart and knew howI lived in denial. I did auditions in Chicago and passed. I was asked to go to Orlando for training and to sing to different record labels. I talked to a few people I trusted and I was advised to wait until I was finished school at Moody Theological seminary. Which was a wise advice. To those people I want to say thank you so much. Because if I did go in then, any negative word would re affirm what I believed about myself - negative words. I decided to focus on my studies in Moody Theological Seminary and advocacy for the children with compassion International.

It was not until one evening when what I thought dead began to breath within me. It all started with Kathy Troccoli asking me to do a duet with her at Fresh grounded faith conference in Atlanta. She later said, "great job I love your voice". I had met and sung with many other artists like Phil Keaggy;sung for Michael W Smith, met Amy Grant, Jeremy Camp and Michael O Brien who often encouraged me. many more. It was different this time. Something within me changed. I went back home asking myself why he has allowed my path to cross all these people. But the fear within me and the lies I had heard from my producer had screened so loud that I thought its a dead end for me.

You know when you are created for something, made and fashioned by God for a specific calling, it will stand any storm in life. In the land of plenty, there is a lot of opportunity. It causes you to rationalize even who you are. But when you abide in God, it's like breathing again.

Songwriters: Rita Springer
Oh, God of mine, I'll have no idols
Oh, God of mine, come lead the way
Oh, God of mine, I'm greatly humbled
This sinner's heart You came to save

Oh, God of mine through storm and trial
Oh, God of mine through death and grave
Oh, God of mine in resurrection
Your scars display my soul's refrain

Oh, God of mine who holds all nations
Oh, God of mine who saves the day
Oh, God of mine, Your grace sufficient
And tender mercies new by morn

Oh, God of mine, forever faithful
Oh, God of mine, forever stay
Oh, God of mine, forever after
These eyes upon Your face will gaze

IS IT FATE?

COULD IT BE FATE FROM THE gods?

Working and living in a village that believed in small gods was not pleasant as young girls and boys believe in fate. It was a privilege to know Christ, and the truth in scripture at a very young age: Jeremiah 29:11 was my favorite.

One morning in Feb. 2009,  I woke up in my house in Luwero Uganda.  I had a heavy desire to encourage someone, I asked The Lord  to lead me to the right person. In the quietness of day, following a narrow muddy path behind my house to a direction I had never been before. The wind blew and the leaves of the tree fell to the ground reminding me of the beauty of creation. My feet, made careful steps and steeped on the fallen leaves making sound that kept my ears attentive and heart expectant. The birds in the nests made melody, my face beamed with a radiant smile as the beautiful African sunrise touched my skin. At every stride,I became more curious of how pleased God must be with all sound of creation. I wondered what he had for me for the day. With the little I knew, I thought to myself, God is humorous and best at surprises. I knew that my day was up for something. You don't ask God to lead you and you expect nothing. Joy unspeakable flowed from the depths of my soul and consumed my face. I jumped and made longer strides with my little feet all I  longed for was to share my  smile and brighten someone's day. Someone new that I have never met before.

Making way through the bush, I enjoyed nature that seemed not to have come into contact with the destructiveness of man. But could fate have described  Nakubulya’s desperate situation? I wondered to myself as I came closer to an old distant quiet little mad hut. I walked through a narrow road, the dew from the grass made my feet wet and the mad was like a soft sponge that got my feet soaked. The sound of my feet as they struggled to get in and out of the mud was not different from that of a great drummer bitting to a song they loved. When the joy of The Lord comes, it sweeps over the concerns of how you look like and all you want is to share what you ave with someone hurting.

As I walked I turned my head and saw a baby laying all by himself in the grass. I went close to make sure my eyes had seen right. To my amazement! I saw a girl 12 years old seated on a wooden wheel chair sobbing. I walked to her and sat down by her side as I tried to touched her, she screamed in hesitation ‘Ndeka’ meaning leave me. I removed my hand very quickly at a loss of words... I gathered courage and asked if she wanted to talk about whatever was bothering her.

Quickly, I head a swift sound trough the grass... on lifting my head, I saw a man coming from a mud hut that was close to the bush we were; he spoke disconnected statements that made no sense at all. I then whispered to this young girl to find out who this guy was and she said, "he is my dad." I was scared and confused, I told him i mean no harm but that everything was ok. The daughter said she is fine and then he left.

I sat by her side and asked her what was wrong, to which she replied, " my name is Nakubulwa." She continued to narrate her story,  She was born in a family of 6 children. Her mother died to HIV AIDS when she was 5 years old and they remained with their father. Her three elder siblings also died and she remained with two younger siblings. A few months back, the dad was so sick to bring any meals home. He also suffered from HIV AIDS which now affected his brain. Nakubulwa was so crippled that her other sister Namisango had to help her to the bathroom and to this place where I found her with her baby. Namisango, always did this as a routine before she left for school. Because she was the only lucky one who got support from her community. She had to get up early and prepare food for the rest of the family members, clean up the house and run to school. She was in primary four. She thought and acted like a mother. She cared and remembered to come back home early before it was too late to prepare dinner for her family and get Nakubulya back home from the bush before dark. She was the hope that the family was left with.

One dark and sad evening she waited for her sister to come back from school, the rain fell; she struggled under the heavy and hard drops of the hailstorm to get to the Dripping mud house. Her dress was torn; she always hid the holes by sitting carefully on the torn parts. With little strength, suddenly she heard something so strong turn her over only to realize it was one of those men, no girl should ever meet. He robbed her of her virginity and left her crying in pain under the rain; feeling dirty, with rejection, hatred, bitterness, unforgiveness, revenge, complaints, questions, confusion and no reason to see tomorrow.

Namisango was in school and had asked for permission to come home but she was not allowed because it was during the beginning of term examinations. She finished her paper and ran home to help her sister to the house only to find her lying in the rain hoping that Its drops would clean her from inside out. hoping that it was a terrible dream. Namisango was dripping and shivering as she struggled with her sister to the house Nakubulwa was so hesitant. She wanted to be left alone and needed no more help.

That night was so dark there was no moon or stars, was God sad  too? Oh yes he was. The candle had run out of paraffin. She gathered under her mom's dress wishing she lived. For three days since the ordeal there was no sleep but nightmares with lots of  disturbing noises ;- Cats meowing, rats running from one corner to another searching for anything in their reach to eat, mosquitoes were biting, cows mooing, and people with deep scary voices whispered. She wished for sound of birds that made her ears rest. But only nightmares that made her scream and woke up everyone else in the house. ‘Is this the end of my life?’ she kept on asking herself. As she told her story, her face had marks that ran the tears from her soul, seeming like water channels dug by a heavy flood. As i looked at the baby besides her i thought, could  he be a result of that night i hesitated to ask. Is this fate?  Why do all bad things happen to me? she asked. Maybe this  was how her life was destined to be.

No one touches her but her sister. Oops did I cross some boundary lines? I asked myself as I sat and wrapped my arms around her shoulders. My face covered in piles of sorrow. My eyes so heavy and moist tired from tears. I couldn’t help but weep with her. I felt like someone was drilling a hole in my heart and I needed to stop the pain. I told her that was enough. I could not hear any more. Justice justice justice screamed in every bit of my being. Where do you run? who will listen? What has corruption done to my mother country? I groaned.

But then I remembered that I have a  God I had asked to lead me this morning. He had led my foot steps. But this was too much for my little heart to handle I told myself.  Please give me grace. i can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I hesitantly started to speak. Trying to make sense of my lips as they couldn't put even one word together. I wanted to share about my friend Jesus Christ and how he loves us, that is all I could give. Silver, gold and the law, I didn't have but I had Jesus. I was told about him at my compassion international project at the church. That's all I could give. i sung for her a song I had learned on my neighbors' television as I peeped through their widow on one of my favorite shows done by the Gaither vocals. These were some of the lyrics
He came down to my level
When I couldn't get up to His
With a strong arm He lifted me up
To show me what livin' is

He'll come down to your level
If you'll open up the door
He wants to make your life worth livin'
That's what He came down for

This was a song I sung to her as she looked intently at the movements of my lips at the pronunciation of every word. I then saw trucks of her tears dry up and a smile on her face. ‘Wow! this is amazing she smiled’. I thought to my self. I then asked God to guide me on how I should help. I held her baby, she then asked me to draw close with the baby and we sang a song together. She said I should always come back and spend time with her and her baby. God has plans for anyone, everyone, and all of us- no matter your background. We don’t belong to the mistakes life may seem to bring our way or the evil that may encompass us. Jeremiah 29:11 God still has a plan, the original plan when He created you. A friend of mine came and took care of her.

Please enjoy the blessings around you, name them one by one. Don't dwell on what you don't have. If she can smile oh yes you can!

Woven in the tapestry of my calling and Mission.

Woven in the tapestry of my calling and mission. On Tuesday, 10 April 2012 I wrote:

At 4:00 am this morning I woke up and could not go back to bed. I was disturbed by one question that may sound simple but yet it is very important to my heart. The question is:- With all the great organizations in the world today focused on helping children;- Compassion being the lead and my wonderful mother who gave me a voice, World vision, Save the Children, Feed the Children, etc and now Isaiah 58 that combines all these organizations, why is it that the voice of the child is still not heard? I am not talking about the child registered in the organization but the African child, the Dominican child, the Haitian child, etc. Is it a problem with the developing country governments that the voice of the Child is not heard? But they have ministers in the government to represent the child!
Why is it so hard to hear the voice of the child?  Is it destined that the child’s voice will never be heard? The little I know about the American Child but have to do more research is that; they will be heard if they reported a case which is a treasure they should take with high regard.
I would like to differ with a lot of the world on the Kony 2012 video that went viral. I think that was the voice of the child. The Ugandan child screamed on Internet, television, the celebrities talked about it. But what was the response of the world? “oh! that is a very emotional based video,” I have no details of the organization (invisible children- I really think this fits well, children are invisible to the world especially those in the developing world), I am not saying that people should donate to the organization mentioned but at least can anyone hear -that child having no hope? I was not surprised when the government and people in my country spoke differently about the video because the IMPORTANCE of hearing the child’s voice has never been in ‘our culture’ not even in the smallest unit of a family. “The child has to be quiet.”
What can all these organizations and presidents do to help voice the child? If these organizations came together and spoke for the child, I think the world would hear since they are highly trusted by many people and governments. I am not talking about the video here. I am talking about the child in many countries. I know my president has written a number of books on the child, compassion has done a lot on the child. It is the best on the child that is why I am passionate about compassion and want it to live forever.
Help me find some sleep, after growing up in compassion program, I have realized that a child’s voice can be heard, I have spoken to millions of people literally through the years on different stages and people try to listen at times 250 out of 8000 hear the child’s voice. Why do the rest shut their ears? Why is it so hard to hear the cry of a child? It is not made up, it’s real. I leave my apartment every weekend seeking for an ear ready to listen. I am not satisfied yet. What can the world do and those with the power to get the governments of the developing world to listen to the dying child, the hungry child, the child suffering under a step mother? Can the organizations have one voice for once?
I don’t know if you understood my heart, but what am saying is that I am seeking a hearing. A hearing that is not of my own but of a child with no mother; suffering under the harsh conditions of corrupt politics and poverty. Are my crazy? I don’t think I am. I know that I was given a voice and I want to use it right to speak for those suffering. The thought of them has robbed my sleep tonight. It is the only weekend I have not travelled to speak since March and now I cannot sleep. I thought I was happy to sleep in my apartment this weekend and not travel but am not. What can we do different to help the child both the one registered and not registered. Can we get all organizations together on one table to help change the policy of government? Or is it too complicated again. My mind seeks an answer for ONE QUESTION: WHY IS IT SO HARD FOR THE VOICE OF THE CHILD TO BE HEARD AND WHAT CAN WE DO DIFFERENTLY?