I have not been able to find peace or satisfaction anywhere
else in this world than at the feet of Jesus. I remember one day when I was
brought back from school and my mom was dying. I remember reaching home and
throwing my bags down and heading to the tree where mom lay. I always knew that
mom worried about her seven children and what they would eat. Worry at times
cause her sickness and would even cause her to go crazy at times. I went sat by
mom and told her not to worry that God will take care of her. I reminded her of
the lilies of the valley and how God cared even for the birds in the air. I
asked if I could run and get my bible and read her a verse. As I run and looked
frantically in my bags. I saw people running outside. I was scared. All kinds
of thoughts run through my mind. Will I see mom again? Will I talk to her or
get to read her my favorite bible verse? As scared as I was, I forgot that I
had not eaten anything. Hunger was not a need it was a want that week. I didn't
feel it at all. A neighbor brought his car to take mom to hospital but she was already so
stiff to fit in the little car. Another neighbor had to bring their truck. They
put my mom in the back of the truck and rushed her to hospital.
The villagers started to come for the vigil; everyone knew
for sure that that was the end of my mom. The dogs backing and cats meowing at
night my community believed that that was a sign of death. Fear griped us. My sister
Peace and my younger siblings sat sobbing behind closed doors. My older two siblings
left with mom and dad to the hospital with other family friend from church. How
I thank God for my local church where, that is also where my compassion project
was. There was too much sadness that I couldn't bear. I chose to go to mom’s
bedroom and sing looking into the mirror. I told myself that if I believed God
would answer my prayers. I refused to give my time to the devil and cry. I remembered
a story taught at my church about the experience of the Israelite's in captivity
and I also refused to sing the song of my Lord in the land of gloom.psalms 137:1-4
I began to sing a song entitled;
I have the victory
The Lord has given unto me
I have the victory
Because of Jesus Christ
I have the victory
The Lord has given unto me
The Lord has given me the victory.
The battle is the lord’s
The victory is mine so lift up your banner of praise.
As I sung this song I felt strength come over me that
shadowed the tears and the pain that was around me. Before I knew it was 1:00am
when I heard a knock on the door. Someone had run from the hospital to tell us
that mom had regained conscience and the people should go back to their homes
there will not be a vigil. I knew that my God had come through again as He
always has. I promised Him that I will forever tell this story of how he came
through for us.
What are you struggling with? Is lack of faith or are you
doubting that God can. Do you know that He is able to do exceedingly above what
you think, ask or even imagine? Just believe. He is faithful. He never lies,
His word is yes and Amen. I have learned to trust in him. It hasn’t been
constant. Ephesians 3:20 Now to
him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine,
according to his power that is at work within us. …I Thessalonians 5: Pray without ceasing. In everything
give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. Quench
not the Spirit.
I
pray that the end goal of us seeking God is not for his hand but his face and
heart. We don’t seek God that he will only give us what we want but that we
shall know him. The end goal of his provision is to know him. It is not the
other way round. Let our hearts pant after God; let us not settle for what everyone
else settles for. Let us strive to the goal at our places of work, at school,
in ministry and every area of our lives. Our relationships, families and even
on the streets, when we talk to people let then hear God in us. It is not easy
but who said that we should give up? Let
our light shine on the streets for the voice of God cries out prepare the way
for me make the cracked paths straight for the King of Glory to come in. Who is
the King of glory? He is the Lord all mighty. He is strong in battle and mighty to save,
tell me a single day that he has not come through and I will tell you the day
you never trusted even there he was there close to lift you up when you couldn't
stand or make the next step. Teach my heart to obey, teach me to surrender,
teach me to follow. I am sorry for leading you many times, please help me
follow. Those that are his will NEVER be put to shame. Though a thousand may stand
against then, He will put them to flight. Trust in the LORD and never give up.
Those who trust in the Lord are like mount Zion which cannot be moved but
abides.
Now
He is called again, He has changed my plans and here we go again. I don’t know
what he has in store for this tour but I will say yes and let go of my
pursuits. I will follow.
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