THE BATTLE FRONT

THE BATTLE FRONT

What God is up to is always more than us but it always begins with us.  I woke up 5:00 am this morning with a burden to cry out to God. I don’t know how the day would have unfolded if I didn't yield to the promptings of the spirit. God knows what lies ahead, He knows the devil’s schemes and he always wants us ready for battle. I cried out sobbing in ways that words cannot express, I had no idea why. One of my sisters at the camp prayed with me both of us sobbing in the Spirit. As we prayed that God would intercede within us, we couldn't stop sobbing. Praying to be like Christ in His suffering, like Paul in jail but yet singing praise to Him, like Enoch walking with Him and being no more. I had no idea what I was praying for.

Not knowing what the day had in store for us, we heading to the front lines. Battle after battle as though the enemy was waiting for a spark for war then I was struck with sickness, I felt as though I had been sick for days. I could not walk from the Lodge where we had lunch to my room.  Someone was kind enough and gave me a ride to my cabin.  When I tried to get up and head down for practice I couldn't stand but had to walk and ask for a time of rest. I felt my life drifting and nowhere and no one to hold on to but God. I continued to cry out to God even in my weakest point. Feeling a little strong, I staggered to rise up again and looking at my phone I found a text that was a sign that the battle was still on. I continued to pray and chose to.  Then I got a text from my best friend and roommate Karen, telling me that she was praying for me.

Being in the battle front is not easy. James 1:2 ^“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,^[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds, ³ because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. ⁴ Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”

If you remember please intercede for us as we intercede on your behalf.

God’s Course Change in My Life

I have written pages and pages about how my next step has unfolded.

In March of 2012 I remember being so certain that by this time next year I will be leading my country in authentic worship. My heart was so consumed in leading my entire country in facedown worship. I got so many friends of mine praying and was in contact with many pastors and radio stations in Uganda. While I was live, with Janet Parshall on Moody radio in her program in the market, she asked what I will be doing after graduating. My answer was that I will be leading my country in worship starting August 2013.

God had a different plan for me. I knew the calling and timing but had the wrong location. In Urbana Mission Conference, God told me that I am going to send you to a different culture and called me to accept possibly being uncomfortable. He said, those people will speak a ‘different Language’ I thought he was calling me to the Middle East or to Iraq or something of that sort. I never knew that he was calling me 3 hours away from Chicago.

I had my heart and soul set on Uganda but the way God changed everything around, was something only He could do. He said I will give up nations and peoples for your sake. He messes up systems and changes things just on time for His will. One thing I know for sure no one or nothing can stand in God’s way not even me. He changed my ‘big’ plans. I decided that obeying God is better than anything else. Obedience is always better than sacrifice. Following God is the wisest and safest thing anyone can ever do.

While in class, a Moody Radio staff member asked us to go pray on the One Cry event for the American National day of prayer. I went and got to know Ryan Loveing, His lovely wife, and the Moody Radio Executive vice. After praying, they asked me what next, I said I wasn’t sure yet. They were very kind and invited me to tour Life Action Head quarters where I clearly heard God say this is where I want you to be. It was a still small voice but I knew it was His voice. I became so restless until I said ok Lord, let’s go. Here I am now in Life Action. On the 6^th day at Camp, God told me, “Remember I told you to lead my people this summer?” I was shocked to realize that I had the wrong location. I was so glad to be in God’s will.

Now that I am with Life Action all I can think is “I don’t want to wait, I don’t want to rest I want to keep going.” God once again has different plans for me. At this moment in time He is calling me to wait on Him. A question we were asked today at Seek week with Life Action Ministries is “What if the revival he is calling this country and world to is dependent on your obedience?”  All I could say is, “Yes Lord.”

Join me in prayer, this journey is very humbling, I am still fighting. I love being busy, I cannot be still. I don’t know how to receive, I know how to give. I started thinking about my siblings when I was 12 years old; I started to worry about my mom’s health. I don’t know how to let go of responsibility and wait on God. I need to totally surrender. This week, I am waiting on God to break me and completely take me over.

https://www.lifeaction.org/conferences/schedule/?team=white-team

WHEN GOD CALLS I FOLLOW!

I have not been able to find peace or satisfaction anywhere else in this world than at the feet of Jesus. I remember one day when I was brought back from school and my mom was dying. I remember reaching home and throwing my bags down and heading to the tree where mom lay. I always knew that mom worried about her seven children and what they would eat. Worry at times cause her sickness and would even cause her to go crazy at times. I went sat by mom and told her not to worry that God will take care of her. I reminded her of the lilies of the valley and how God cared even for the birds in the air. I asked if I could run and get my bible and read her a verse. As I run and looked frantically in my bags. I saw people running outside. I was scared. All kinds of thoughts run through my mind. Will I see mom again? Will I talk to her or get to read her my favorite bible verse? As scared as I was, I forgot that I had not eaten anything. Hunger was not a need it was a want that week. I didn't feel it at all. A neighbor brought his car to take mom to hospital but she was already so stiff to fit in the little car. Another neighbor had to bring their truck. They put my mom in the back of the truck and rushed her to hospital.

The villagers started to come for the vigil; everyone knew for sure that that was the end of my mom. The dogs backing and cats meowing at night my community believed that that was a sign of death. Fear griped us. My sister Peace and my younger siblings sat sobbing behind closed doors. My older two siblings left with mom and dad to the hospital with other family friend from church. How I thank God for my local church where, that is also where my compassion project was. There was too much sadness that I couldn't bear. I chose to go to mom’s bedroom and sing looking into the mirror. I told myself that if I believed God would answer my prayers. I refused to give my time to the devil and cry. I remembered a story taught at my church about the experience of the Israelite's in captivity and I also refused to sing the song of my Lord in the land of gloom.psalms 137:1-4 

I began to sing a song entitled;

I have the victory

The Lord has given unto me

I have the victory

Because of Jesus Christ

I have the victory

The Lord has given unto me

The Lord has given me the victory.

The battle is the lord’s

The victory is mine so lift up your banner of praise.

As I sung this song I felt strength come over me that shadowed the tears and the pain that was around me. Before I knew it was 1:00am when I heard a knock on the door. Someone had run from the hospital to tell us that mom had regained conscience and the people should go back to their homes there will not be a vigil. I knew that my God had come through again as He always has. I promised Him that I will forever tell this story of how he came through for us.

What are you struggling with? Is lack of faith or are you doubting that God can. Do you know that He is able to do exceedingly above what you think, ask or even imagine? Just believe. He is faithful. He never lies, His word is yes and Amen. I have learned to trust in him. It hasn’t been constant. Ephesians 3:20  Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us. …I Thessalonians 5: Pray without ceasing. In everything give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. Quench not the Spirit.

I pray that the end goal of us seeking God is not for his hand but his face and heart. We don’t seek God that he will only give us what we want but that we shall know him. The end goal of his provision is to know him. It is not the other way round. Let our hearts pant after God; let us not settle for what everyone else settles for. Let us strive to the goal at our places of work, at school, in ministry and every area of our lives. Our relationships, families and even on the streets, when we talk to people let then hear God in us. It is not easy but who said that we should give up?  Let our light shine on the streets for the voice of God cries out prepare the way for me make the cracked paths straight for the King of Glory to come in. Who is the King of glory? He is the Lord all mighty.  He is strong in battle and mighty to save, tell me a single day that he has not come through and I will tell you the day you never trusted even there he was there close to lift you up when you couldn't stand or make the next step. Teach my heart to obey, teach me to surrender, teach me to follow. I am sorry for leading you many times, please help me follow. Those that are his will NEVER be put to shame. Though a thousand may stand against then, He will put them to flight. Trust in the LORD and never give up. Those who trust in the Lord are like mount Zion which cannot be moved but abides.

Now He is called again, He has changed my plans and here we go again. I don’t know what he has in store for this tour but I will say yes and let go of my pursuits. I will follow.

REFUSING TO GO THROUGH THE MOTIONS.

I don’t find peace in going with the flow. I love different, I love trying the scary part of life. Accomplishing what others feel cannot be accomplished. Dreaming big, it’s only in those moments that I feel the energy in life. There are things necessary to life but are not in existence yet and others think of them as impossible and they provide every rational thought which helps with the details necessary to achieve the goal/dream. Rational is not reason to give up, I look at it as strategies needed to be taken to achieve a goal. Healthy critic helps us direct appropriate energy to what is not right and needs improvement for the good of oneself and the entire group. Not forgetting the strength that comes from gratitude and appreciation of the good.
You wake up one morning and there are ideas that keep you restless. Feeling as though gratitude is a rope not worth skipping but yet destiny calls so loud. Enjoying a gift; I believe is making use of it in the best way that you know how. It’s not merely saying thank you which is very necessary too but the practicality of maximizing the gift and being a good steward is the best way to express gratitude in my opinion.

Focusing on areas for improvement and dealing with challenges that may affect our celebration in the nearby future always comes as a result of true gratitude. Well some may say that silence in the moment of celebration is being ungrateful. Celebrating accomplishments and achievements is very necessary. However we should be careful not to blur the vision for tomorrow thinking that we have reached the finish line. There is always a lot to do; the world out there is still suffering injustice, poverty and separation from God. Each one of us needs to find our place in this world, none of us should exist to only achieve personal satisfaction on the expense of who you are meant to be. No man is an Island, you are made for a reason and placed where you are now to either accomplish that or prepare for the next opportunity. No one and nothing in life is a mistake. It is all part of the big picture that only God knows. Be faithful in the here and now and it will all make sense later. There is a longing within each of us to make a difference it’s up to you and I to fill that longing with the right thing. Each one of us is created with purpose find the niche; the world will be different if you did your part.

Each one of us should have an inner drive pushing us to a specific desire for better and greater in each season of our lives. for some a season can last for 3 years or 30 years or more but let us be ready to move when its time. Time is very necessary, knowing the time to move and when to stop. Some people are called of God and fashioned differently and that is OK. There is no reason to apologize for living that which God made you to be. Just make sure that you are grateful and appreciate difference in others. Be a learner, learn from those around you even those you don’t like, maybe the reason you are uncomfortable around them is because they bring out a part of you that you don’t want to change. We all want to be better people. We can make a difference and we can change the world, if we are learners and then find the niche. We read and know lots of people that have done this, we are no exceptions.

Where you were born is not determine who you will become. Our past is just the beginning of the story, the weaving of the tapestry not the whole cloth. Let not the knots and the piercings of the pine needle be the whole package. Look at the bigger picture. It is very hard to do that, I am writing to the choir as the saying goes. It’s been my life, these are lessons I have learned. God has a plan for you and me. Let the terrible past go, look at today; the blessings of the people around you that God has brought your way. Wise men that know the other side where you are going, sit at their feet listen don’t just hear but listen. Many people hear but very few listen. Don’t be stubborn in the rules of your past, yeah they were hard and painted with a lot of injustice; don’t get stuck in that pain, many times it blurs your tomorrow forcing you to constantly make the same mistakes as a way of survival. You think that it defines the world because that is all you know or have known all your life. Be open to learn the rules and principles/guidelines on the other side, different is good many times, tread on new waters and new skies, let go and fly. Something that David Dahlin my hero always says, “Lois at times you just have to let go and trust God.” He is a gift from Heaven, he is one of those untold hero’s a man of excellence but yet also humility. A man I have learned listening from. He will listen at any time. When talking to him, it feels like it’s just me in the world, yet he will give grace and wisdom at the same time. I think he can excel as a pastor, dad and executive. So gifted but yet doing it unto the Lord not seeking human approval. When I grow up, I want to be just like him.

God also blessed me lately with another wise coach. He gives me life and strength to be who God created me to be. When we love the different person that we are, we make different choices wise choices that others may fear to make. But I know that being vulnerable is key to success. I have discovered the resources available for me just by being graciously transparent and vulnerable. Knowing my past and testimony, it should be the hardest thing to do. But I refuse to be held back in the past and in the hard and choose to try out flying. I will say that my wings are gaining strength a step at a time but when they get strong enough. You will be surprised how high I can reach.
Next time, I will be counting my blessings and naming them one by one! I am so blessed. Thank you Jesus.

Lover of song lyrics

Songwriters: AHLSTROM, LEONARD / CRAIG, ANDREW SHAWN

I been walking through the desert
And I been talking to myself away too long
It gets lonely when you're the only one
Who hears you when you say you need someone

I'm ready for the rain to fall
I'm ready for your heart to call
My name so loud, it cracks the clouds
And your love comes pouring down
I'm ready for the rain

I prayed for mercy from the heartache
But I was thirsty for a river I couldn't find
Then I found you and you opened up the sky
And I knew you're the reason why

I'm ready for the rain to fall
I'm ready for your heart to call
My name so loud, it cracks the clouds
And your love comes pouring down
I'm ready for the rain

Dust and pain just washed away
The moment that you walked my way

I'm ready for the rain to fall
I'm ready for your heart to call
My name so loud, it cracks the clouds
And your love comes pouring down
I'm ready for the rain, I'm ready for the rain
Ready for the rain

THOUGHT DEAD.

From the time I started to breath, all I could think of was life. People defined it differently. Some called life, beauty, fame, dating, scheming, ministry, attending church, pleasing people and name it.

I always wanted to know what life was all about until one day my parents hosted a few friends. That evening, my amazing mom cooked a meal while they ate, my mom asked if we could sin to the visitors. The seven of us came out and lined up and sung a sad song unknowingly. All the visitors stopped eating and their heart were moved with pity for the hungry. One day, uncle John came back home and said when you all sung about children suffering, we could not continue to eat.

I kept singing in church and school until 2005 when a friend of mine asked if I could help her record an album. I said yes of course, I will. Day and night we worked on seven songs. A few months later we were ready to record. We went to one of the best studios in Uganda and recorded the album, I was able to record one of my favorite songs "well done good and faithful servant". Fortunately, her mom asked me to sign to get twenty percent from the profits. I was glad that finally I get to make some money and help my family. We recorded, i hardly was invited for the launch and tried to follow up on the contract i signed only to be pushed to the side every time. The poor many times are robbed and no one speaks out for them. I returned to leading worship and singing in school.


In 2006, i wrote some more songs and a friend of mine sold me some of his songs. I set out to record in Uganda, I have never worked with someone so negative. By the time I was done with that album, I was convicted that I have no future in this field. I decided to give my heart to working with the orphans and children that needed love four years. I loved them with all that I had. I kept singing in the church and to the children.

Every one that told me that I had a good voice, I thought them crazy. Some said, "oh, you are just being proud but you know you have a good voice." I wished that they saw my heart and knew howI lived in denial. I did auditions in Chicago and passed. I was asked to go to Orlando for training and to sing to different record labels. I talked to a few people I trusted and I was advised to wait until I was finished school at Moody Theological seminary. Which was a wise advice. To those people I want to say thank you so much. Because if I did go in then, any negative word would re affirm what I believed about myself - negative words. I decided to focus on my studies in Moody Theological Seminary and advocacy for the children with compassion International.

It was not until one evening when what I thought dead began to breath within me. It all started with Kathy Troccoli asking me to do a duet with her at Fresh grounded faith conference in Atlanta. She later said, "great job I love your voice". I had met and sung with many other artists like Phil Keaggy;sung for Michael W Smith, met Amy Grant, Jeremy Camp and Michael O Brien who often encouraged me. many more. It was different this time. Something within me changed. I went back home asking myself why he has allowed my path to cross all these people. But the fear within me and the lies I had heard from my producer had screened so loud that I thought its a dead end for me.

You know when you are created for something, made and fashioned by God for a specific calling, it will stand any storm in life. In the land of plenty, there is a lot of opportunity. It causes you to rationalize even who you are. But when you abide in God, it's like breathing again.

Songwriters: Rita Springer
Oh, God of mine, I'll have no idols
Oh, God of mine, come lead the way
Oh, God of mine, I'm greatly humbled
This sinner's heart You came to save

Oh, God of mine through storm and trial
Oh, God of mine through death and grave
Oh, God of mine in resurrection
Your scars display my soul's refrain

Oh, God of mine who holds all nations
Oh, God of mine who saves the day
Oh, God of mine, Your grace sufficient
And tender mercies new by morn

Oh, God of mine, forever faithful
Oh, God of mine, forever stay
Oh, God of mine, forever after
These eyes upon Your face will gaze

IS IT FATE?

COULD IT BE FATE FROM THE gods?

Working and living in a village that believed in small gods was not pleasant as young girls and boys believe in fate. It was a privilege to know Christ, and the truth in scripture at a very young age: Jeremiah 29:11 was my favorite.

One morning in Feb. 2009,  I woke up in my house in Luwero Uganda.  I had a heavy desire to encourage someone, I asked The Lord  to lead me to the right person. In the quietness of day, following a narrow muddy path behind my house to a direction I had never been before. The wind blew and the leaves of the tree fell to the ground reminding me of the beauty of creation. My feet, made careful steps and steeped on the fallen leaves making sound that kept my ears attentive and heart expectant. The birds in the nests made melody, my face beamed with a radiant smile as the beautiful African sunrise touched my skin. At every stride,I became more curious of how pleased God must be with all sound of creation. I wondered what he had for me for the day. With the little I knew, I thought to myself, God is humorous and best at surprises. I knew that my day was up for something. You don't ask God to lead you and you expect nothing. Joy unspeakable flowed from the depths of my soul and consumed my face. I jumped and made longer strides with my little feet all I  longed for was to share my  smile and brighten someone's day. Someone new that I have never met before.

Making way through the bush, I enjoyed nature that seemed not to have come into contact with the destructiveness of man. But could fate have described  Nakubulya’s desperate situation? I wondered to myself as I came closer to an old distant quiet little mad hut. I walked through a narrow road, the dew from the grass made my feet wet and the mad was like a soft sponge that got my feet soaked. The sound of my feet as they struggled to get in and out of the mud was not different from that of a great drummer bitting to a song they loved. When the joy of The Lord comes, it sweeps over the concerns of how you look like and all you want is to share what you ave with someone hurting.

As I walked I turned my head and saw a baby laying all by himself in the grass. I went close to make sure my eyes had seen right. To my amazement! I saw a girl 12 years old seated on a wooden wheel chair sobbing. I walked to her and sat down by her side as I tried to touched her, she screamed in hesitation ‘Ndeka’ meaning leave me. I removed my hand very quickly at a loss of words... I gathered courage and asked if she wanted to talk about whatever was bothering her.

Quickly, I head a swift sound trough the grass... on lifting my head, I saw a man coming from a mud hut that was close to the bush we were; he spoke disconnected statements that made no sense at all. I then whispered to this young girl to find out who this guy was and she said, "he is my dad." I was scared and confused, I told him i mean no harm but that everything was ok. The daughter said she is fine and then he left.

I sat by her side and asked her what was wrong, to which she replied, " my name is Nakubulwa." She continued to narrate her story,  She was born in a family of 6 children. Her mother died to HIV AIDS when she was 5 years old and they remained with their father. Her three elder siblings also died and she remained with two younger siblings. A few months back, the dad was so sick to bring any meals home. He also suffered from HIV AIDS which now affected his brain. Nakubulwa was so crippled that her other sister Namisango had to help her to the bathroom and to this place where I found her with her baby. Namisango, always did this as a routine before she left for school. Because she was the only lucky one who got support from her community. She had to get up early and prepare food for the rest of the family members, clean up the house and run to school. She was in primary four. She thought and acted like a mother. She cared and remembered to come back home early before it was too late to prepare dinner for her family and get Nakubulya back home from the bush before dark. She was the hope that the family was left with.

One dark and sad evening she waited for her sister to come back from school, the rain fell; she struggled under the heavy and hard drops of the hailstorm to get to the Dripping mud house. Her dress was torn; she always hid the holes by sitting carefully on the torn parts. With little strength, suddenly she heard something so strong turn her over only to realize it was one of those men, no girl should ever meet. He robbed her of her virginity and left her crying in pain under the rain; feeling dirty, with rejection, hatred, bitterness, unforgiveness, revenge, complaints, questions, confusion and no reason to see tomorrow.

Namisango was in school and had asked for permission to come home but she was not allowed because it was during the beginning of term examinations. She finished her paper and ran home to help her sister to the house only to find her lying in the rain hoping that Its drops would clean her from inside out. hoping that it was a terrible dream. Namisango was dripping and shivering as she struggled with her sister to the house Nakubulwa was so hesitant. She wanted to be left alone and needed no more help.

That night was so dark there was no moon or stars, was God sad  too? Oh yes he was. The candle had run out of paraffin. She gathered under her mom's dress wishing she lived. For three days since the ordeal there was no sleep but nightmares with lots of  disturbing noises ;- Cats meowing, rats running from one corner to another searching for anything in their reach to eat, mosquitoes were biting, cows mooing, and people with deep scary voices whispered. She wished for sound of birds that made her ears rest. But only nightmares that made her scream and woke up everyone else in the house. ‘Is this the end of my life?’ she kept on asking herself. As she told her story, her face had marks that ran the tears from her soul, seeming like water channels dug by a heavy flood. As i looked at the baby besides her i thought, could  he be a result of that night i hesitated to ask. Is this fate?  Why do all bad things happen to me? she asked. Maybe this  was how her life was destined to be.

No one touches her but her sister. Oops did I cross some boundary lines? I asked myself as I sat and wrapped my arms around her shoulders. My face covered in piles of sorrow. My eyes so heavy and moist tired from tears. I couldn’t help but weep with her. I felt like someone was drilling a hole in my heart and I needed to stop the pain. I told her that was enough. I could not hear any more. Justice justice justice screamed in every bit of my being. Where do you run? who will listen? What has corruption done to my mother country? I groaned.

But then I remembered that I have a  God I had asked to lead me this morning. He had led my foot steps. But this was too much for my little heart to handle I told myself.  Please give me grace. i can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I hesitantly started to speak. Trying to make sense of my lips as they couldn't put even one word together. I wanted to share about my friend Jesus Christ and how he loves us, that is all I could give. Silver, gold and the law, I didn't have but I had Jesus. I was told about him at my compassion international project at the church. That's all I could give. i sung for her a song I had learned on my neighbors' television as I peeped through their widow on one of my favorite shows done by the Gaither vocals. These were some of the lyrics
He came down to my level
When I couldn't get up to His
With a strong arm He lifted me up
To show me what livin' is

He'll come down to your level
If you'll open up the door
He wants to make your life worth livin'
That's what He came down for

This was a song I sung to her as she looked intently at the movements of my lips at the pronunciation of every word. I then saw trucks of her tears dry up and a smile on her face. ‘Wow! this is amazing she smiled’. I thought to my self. I then asked God to guide me on how I should help. I held her baby, she then asked me to draw close with the baby and we sang a song together. She said I should always come back and spend time with her and her baby. God has plans for anyone, everyone, and all of us- no matter your background. We don’t belong to the mistakes life may seem to bring our way or the evil that may encompass us. Jeremiah 29:11 God still has a plan, the original plan when He created you. A friend of mine came and took care of her.

Please enjoy the blessings around you, name them one by one. Don't dwell on what you don't have. If she can smile oh yes you can!